as if my tutor at college said “high rated” instead of ‘irate’

i’m sorry but

how have you gone that long without anyone telling u

he just said “would you bang tho?” about someone

and i had to send him a link to “are you gonna bang doe” but he’s too youNG TO UNDERSTAND

so my friend accidentally saw me naked and now he keeps casually slipping little remarks about it in to conversations with people at college to torture me like “yeah…sometimes you see something and your whole perspective of a person is changed!” and then looks over at me like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

omg how will this ever be fixed

  • girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know

i mean i kinda suspected she might fancy me but i thought i was just being egotistical, and i did say to my friend the other day that i’d totally date her in another universe haha

frick - a very hot and nice girl from my college just told me she fancies me and i can’t breatheee

we’re both seeing someone though, she just wanted me to know because it was relevant to her issues as she’s not sure she wants to be with her fella anymore as she has feelings for other people like that

You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

Oscar Wilde (via feellng)